It has been quite some time I write something poetic here. After 6 months of drowning in a bath tub of Law books essence with just a drop of patchouli, I feel like I have let my intelligence drain away. What is left? you ask. Ehhh, just some textbook material with systemized sarcastic robotic replies to idiotic questions. Perhaps an opinion or two but those shrivel pretty quickly.

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Going off-topic here.

So, hello you. I have been seeing you in my dreams almost too frequently; talking and smiling to me as if we have never drift apart like shattered wood planks in the sea, as if we never became awkward strangers who know of each other all too well, as if it was December 2009 and all I was looking forward to was your texts (yes, I was a seventeen year old loser whose life was missing a riveting drama plot. Bite me). The lacuna between us has grown deeper for the past year and we are rewinding back to 2007, the year where God decided two disoriented souls meet each other. Only worse, we are pretending that we never knew what it was like being with each other.

You know what I was planning in my head while showering this morning (brilliant ideas appear during the weirdest of times and places)? That on 20th of December, I would have a ride to your house, bearing +wondermilk's 49, Sijie's Balzac and The Little Chinese Seamstress and a speech about closure, that'd go like this:

Hey, sorry for forgetting your birthday. In the attempt of survival in tertiary education, a few things slipped my mind and one of those things happen to be the day you turn __. So, here (I'd hand over the cupcakes and the book) Happy __ years and one month. I hope that makes it up. And I hope you'll enjoy that since that's the last thing I'll ever give you. No offense, I just need closure. All this time, I have been trying desperately get you back in my life because you're one of the most important person ever. I mean, I called all the way from Sabah and cried over the phone to you. I don't even do that to my closest friend. Talk about desperate. A part of me regrets that but the other, it's sort of glad. Don't ask me why. It just is. I hope you did well the other day. You're surprisingly brilliant, I know you did well. So um...I hope to see you in the future but if I don't then...well, whatever.

Okay, it is not the best of speeches but still, that paragraph above is something that I'd like to say to you. Maybe these dreams are trying to tell me something. Maybe they're trying to spread a cosmic message that I don't get. Maybe I need to do this. But unfortunately, I have classes on the 20th, so cosmic message, you'll have to wait.