Doubt; it's a parasite that assimilates into the core of your faith and eats through the slightly shaky bones that holds the organ together. Then, when it's done, what is left is a hollow feeling in your gut and a few loud promises, hushed. Later, something we call conscience will flit through the gaps between your brain cells, silently spreading the said idea. It will make you doubt your doubts until everything you lived for became uncertain facts. 'When in doubt, tell the truth', 'When in doubt, sing', 'When in doubt, do the courageous thing'. When in doubt, run away in panic.
You know what kills you?
Romance; the way society believes how application of the said concept would guarantee a safer, more peaceful environment to live in is just b*llshit. Love won't save you, it kills you. The tingles you felt running through your veins when he looks at you is pure poison. The way your heart would beat 110 miles per hour when he pulls at your wrist to stop you from walking away just calls for another coronary. Especially when he winks at you in your sweetest nightmares or when his breath tickles your neck while his baritone voice whispers into your ear, you feel your blood coagulating, your atria bursting and your organs melting into a pool of red on the base of your solar plexus and that is just f*cking homicide.
You know what kills you?
Law; a three-letter subject that sucks the life out of your life. Learning it forces you to be a heartless automaton, living only to convict without letting passion interfere with your business. Even trying to understand the basics of it, the uppermost epidermis, would cause you to run into a pool of hungry alligators swimming in boiling acid, no fear gravitating your getaway. What you hate most about it is how you're still somewhat interested to delve deeper into the complexities of black and white. You know, deep in your gut, that you loathe it. Yet, you fell for it. That's another thing about law: once you're in, you're in for good. But then again, that's just me and I do lie occasionally (read: every f*cking chance I got).
You know what kills you?
Writing this at 3:44:34 a.m. when you know you have to wake up early for tomorrow's test paper. Eff.